|
bedroom golf....you gotta love it !!! 10-09-2008
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play
- normally one club and two balls. 2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the
hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before
play begins. 5. Course owners ...
1 Reacties, 65 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,4.12 Score
|
|
hahaha just had to get this one off my chest. 07-09-2008
My ex seemed to have found the answer to getting me to swing
with her..
she read on the dance's website that you tell your partner
over and over that you desperately want to watch them have
sex with someone else... word for word off the site. no originality
whatsoever...
what did she think i wouldn't figure it out eventually
and read the website?? lol
just had to put ...
4 Reacties, 121 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,0.49 Score
|
|
why guys of corse gals also look4 relationship n when 07-09-2008
it is a silly question but why a well knit knit united family
member looks for relationship cos of fun fantassy bore of same way of sex or need more lust
in life and at what age is it safe ...
1 Reacties, 33 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,2.40 Score
|
|
Alan Partridge sex??? 27-08-2008
an ex and i got into Alan Partridge years ago. i was in a shared
house in university at the time. she double dared me to scream
"AAHHHHRRRR Back of the net" at the top of my
voice when i climaxed. sooooo funny! all you students give
it a go lol!
0 Reacties, 35 Bezichtigingen,
0 Stemmen
|
|
How do you circumcise a wail??? 27-08-2008
answer: send four skin divers down!
0 Reacties, 17 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,2.40 Score
|
|
three rats in a bar 27-08-2008
three rats sitting in a bar talking about how hard they are.
the first one says " the people in my house put down
rat poison the other day! but i gobbled it all down and it
didn't do nothin cos I'm well hard!"
the second rat "tu!!! thats nothin! the guys in my
place put down traps, but i just took the crack on the back
and gobbled up all their cheese cos I'm hard!
third ...
0 Reacties, 76 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,5.10 Score
|
|
I prefer to make love, it is far more satisfying then just sex 27-08-2008
So many times I have seen it asked “what is the difference
between making love and having sex. I use to reply with some
humorous but kurt answers. I have read other folk’s responses
, all very good opinions. Now I think I have my own, this does
not come from any experience with various partners, rather
it come from how I genuinely feel.
Sex , I think< is relatively easy to ...
0 Reacties, 48 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,2.42 Score
|
|
Make an Impression 25-08-2008
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN... compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN... show up naked, bring beer.
2 Reacties, 58 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,4.80 Score
|
|
How to tell if your a swinger 20-08-2008
100 Ways to tell if your a swinger 1. You are wearing wristbands in most of your vacation photos.
2. Half of the numbers on your cellphone are listed only
by screen names. 3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers
why you can't go out with them this weekend. 4. You have over 100, 000 frequent flyer miles on Air Jamaica.
5. You know most of your friends' names only as couples
(Rich ...
1 Reacties, 116 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,4.57 Score
|
|
Vibrators are fore fun 20-08-2008
In 1992 I went hospital to give birth to my lovely
( who is now 16 ) but when I was away my mother-in-law decided
to get me some clothes out of my cupboard. To my horror my
lovely husband had put my one and only big black vibrator
on top of the clothes she chose for me to put on. Mind you I
would have hope in hell of fitting into the dress but on top
of that she would have had to move my ...
2 Reacties, 225 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,3.37 Score
|
|
Do you still get horny? 10-08-2008
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Bonita
Springs, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives
you to the beach?'
2 Reacties, 173 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,3.51 Score
|
|
Booty Call Agreement copy and paste it funny stuff 10-08-2008
Booty Call Agreement
This pre-booty call agreement (here in after referred
to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the
_____________ day of ___________, 2008 by_______________
and ________________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULE AND PRINCIPALS:
1. No sleeping over. Unless it is very good and we need to
repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting ...
4 Reacties, 129 Bezichtigingen,
8 Stemmen
,5.33 Score
|
|
40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN 09-08-2008
I posted this under My other nic on LekkerAfspreken.nl Lekker Afspreken, Echte Sexdating - LekkerAfspreken I just had to bring
it over here to Xmatch.
This is what I was told by a woman so I guess it is true..
Guys take a little time to read ALL of this. You might
be surprised just how true it is.
1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight
for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're ...
5 Reacties, 209 Bezichtigingen,
17 Stemmen
,6.52 Score
|
|
travelling man 30-07-2008
My wife, when I traveled away, Made sly extramarital hay, And partied for hours With chosen endowers, And often came back the next day.
1 Reacties, 79 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,1.10 Score
|
|
newlyweds 30-07-2008
To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish! Your cunt is as big as a dish!" She replied, "Why, you fool, With your limp little tool It's like driving a nail with a fish!"
1 Reacties, 71 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,1.04 Score
|
|
Age of consent - not cuumulative! 19-07-2008
Carbon here - LekkerAfspreken.nl Lekker Afspreken, Echte Sexdating - LekkerAfspreken self proclaimed resident sex and relationship
advice guru.
THIS WEEK: Twins!
A warning for all you lovers out there - when on the rather
sensitive (and provocatively imaginative) subject of
twins, there are a few important, but often overlooked
issues that need to be addressed. These tips have been researched
dilligently by myself and others in my relationship ...
1 Reacties, 128 Bezichtigingen,
25 Stemmen
|
|
watch what you wish for...... 03-07-2008
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his
wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through,
so he prayed:
'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while
my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through,
so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day Amen.'
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
...
5 Reacties, 171 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,4.99 Score
|
|
The Tale of the Kiss`in Cousins 02-07-2008
Howdy,
I come from a tiny little mining town in West Virginia that
I fondly refer to as “Booger Hole”. We moved away from there
when I was around 9 years old but I briefly returned just
before my 14th birthday when my Pa-Paw fell ill.
I was still a virgin unless you count the endless hours I
spent jacking off and had never even seen a girl naked before
(I don`t ...
0 Reacties, 226 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,3.14 Score
|
|
HOW TO MAKE WOMEN HAPPY...? 30-06-2008
How To Make Women Happy... The Point System (advice according to women)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the
woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You
don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Simple Duties: You make the bed (+1) You ...
1 Reacties, 126 Bezichtigingen,
17 Stemmen
,0.86 Score
|
|
man are like... 30-06-2008
... Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
... Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night
long.
... Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
... Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
... Coolers. Load them ...
2 Reacties, 82 Bezichtigingen,
21 Stemmen
,2.51 Score
|
|
man and woman 30-06-2008
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not ...
0 Reacties, 63 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,1.92 Score
|
|
Pitching the bull:Why every seducer is a salesman! 28-06-2008
You seea fabulous girl at a party, You approach her and
say"I'm fantastic in bed", THATS A DIRECT MARKETING
You're at a party with bunch of friends and see a fabulous
girl, You have one of your friends approach her and point
at you and say, "He's fantastic in bed", THATS DIRECT ADVERTISING
You see a fabulous girl at a party, aproach her to get her
fone number, next day you call ...
0 Reacties, 51 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,2.42 Score
|
|
short but funny 28-06-2008
What did the alcoholic do with his first 50 cent piece? He married her ...
2 Reacties, 75 Bezichtigingen,
9 Stemmen
,3.64 Score
|
|
THE DREAMER 13-06-2008
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just
dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day.
What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a package and gave it
to his wife. Delighted, she opened it - to find a book entitled
"The meaning of dreams"
2 Reacties, 293 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,2.82 Score
|
|
playboy centerfold 13-06-2008
Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are
married.
Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.
1 Reacties, 71 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,3.25 Score
|
|
halloween costume 13-06-2008
On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having
trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife
got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came
back completely naked execpt for a lemon between her legs.
The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out
of the room himself. Twenty minutes passed and then he came
back himself with a ...
2 Reacties, 110 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,4.41 Score
|
|
a picture is worth a thousand words.... 13-06-2008
A wealthy man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"
the lawyer asked. "Give me the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" the man asked incredulously.
"I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"It's of you and your mistress."
4 Reacties, 138 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,3.65 Score
|
|
next??? 13-06-2008
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the
ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
1 Reacties, 103 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,5.04 Score
|
|
men and women 13-06-2008
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
1 Reacties, 50 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,2.94 Score
|
|
hmmmmmm..... 13-06-2008
A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found
his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy, " he said. "It's
not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say, " answered
his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with
your wife?" The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd
break his cane and kick his seeing-eye in the ass."
2 Reacties, 98 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,3.92 Score
|
